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Its funny. A few weeks ago the guys over at the Ink Kitchen had a post about how they had been contacted by email scammers looking to get money from screen printers. I had actually been contacted by some email scammers earlier that same week trying to pretty much pull the same scam. I wasn’t aware that screen printers were a target for scammers really.

And while the Ink Kitchen guys did the smart thing and ignored them and warned their readers to do the same when encountering a scammer; I did the dumb thing.

Here is our exchange:

Okay so within the first 4 words this dude has already forgotten what his name is supposed to be. Is he “Christopher Johnson” or “Joseph Christopher”? He should have just played it safe and gone by the nickname “C-Money”. I wouldn’t bat an eye at that name.

Remember, proper email etiquette dictates that you always need to assure your reader that you are a USA Citizen and you might as well let let them know what your job title is. In this case its Financial Economist. He sounds rich so I can quote him whatever I want! Tee hee!

And of course we all know wedding dates are flexible.

Oops I accidentally called him Chris instead of Joseph! What terrible customer service!

I had never heard of Magic Mugs so I thought for sure they were a made up thing. Also I wanted so badly to know what kind of artwork would be going on these Magic Mugs. This scammer is gonna need to put in some work. I just had to know how good his design skills were. Note that at this point he also starts emailing me with a different email address. I was getting so confused I almost forgot what MY name was.

Aww now I just feel really bad for the child they forced to create this design. They probably promised him a cut of the money they were gonna scam from me.

And good god I can not even figure out what they are asking me to do. Apparently this plan is supposed to be so convoluted I just end up mailing them my birth certificate and social security numbers. HOW DOES THIS SUPPLIER HAVE THE ABILITY TO CREATE MAGICAL MUGS BUT NOT TAKE A CREDIT CARD!

I have to let Joseph know that I am a little bit skeptical about his idiot plan. What if his idiot plan is real? No it can’t be. Not with that artwork.

“The supplier only accepts USA dollars waded up into a ball and mailed through USA postal system”

My wife works in sales at a screen printing company so she does a bazillion quotes for things like this everyday. When I called her and asked her what she would quote for this many Magic Mugs and t-shirts, she asked what it was for. When I told her that I wanted to give a realistic estimate to a scammer so I could keep him on the hook and mess with him, she hung up so angrily that my phone self-destructed.

And yeah I complemented Joseph’s daughter. I really wanted to sweeten the pot on that estimate. Maybe he would be so blinded by my charm, he would send ME money!

gIbBeRrisHS!!!

And how rude! C-Money didn’t even acknowledge that I complimented his daughter! Its like he ignored it!

At this point I think I blew the sale cause he did NOT email me back anymore after this.

UPDATE:
Or so I thought. After publishing this, I got more emails from this delightful chap. He just kept giving me more convoluted instructions with percentages and asking for new quotes. I just threw out any random prices at him and then it finally happened…

C-Money sent me somebody’s stolen credit card info.

That’s when I reported him to my local police department but I still wanted to have fun.

Oh also please note that I definitely don’t own a screen printing company.

I’m not gonna post it here because I dont want any others to use it to scam people, but as you can probably guess, the “passport scan” that C-Money sent to me was pure Photoshop vomit. I expected nothing less.

I dunno.

And that’s where it ends. I assume Joseph stopped emailing me because an FBI man had kicked in his door.

I bet its just like that movie Catch Me If You Can. I loved that movie.

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